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Joke of the Day

"Its been really hot in Seattle lately, so I converted my dishwasher into an air conditioner the other day. How? I handed my wife a hand fan to keep me cool."

"Why doesn't Bill Cosby like women's flip flops? ...because he can't lace them."

"The past, the present and the future walked into a bar.... The situation was tense..."

"I know I should be searching for my missing friend, but there's a lot of food in his apartment that'll spoil if I don't eat it."

"I was cooking a dish with onions in it and my friend cried. I only now realized recently that she wasn't raising that dog for food."

"Es cargo A snail was writing s on his car a boy sees him and asks ""Why are you writing s on your car"" the snail says ""So when people see me driving they'll say wow look at that Es cargo """

"Did you hear that Alexander Graham Bell got fired from the theatre? He was always phoning it in."

"Why are there no knock knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings!"

"What do you call a short mexican? A paragraph, hes not a full essay yet."

"Damn girl, are you Daenerys Targaryen? Because that ass could take over the world. Haha don't know if this is used or not yet but I dreamt up this joke so enjoy."