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Joke of the Day
"Why doesn't Bill Cosby like women's flip flops? ...because he can't lace them."
Next Joke
"*at church* ""Does anyone have anything else for the offering basket?"" I OFFER MY FIRST BORN CHILD ""Jim no"""
"I just accidentally opened the door for a jehovah's Witness and he took one look at me and just walked away."
"Arguing with someone spoils your day and mood, increases your blood pressure and is bad for your health. Instead of arguing, Just punch them in the fucking face and be done with it."
"How do frogs die? They kermit sucide"
"Every call with my mother starts in one of two ways: 1. WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED? IS EVERYTHING OK? 2. WHY ARE YOU CALLING? IS EVERYTHING OK?"
"Personal Trainer: No pain, no gain Me: Deal"
"It concerns me as a parent that damn near every Disney movie shows kids if your parents die you'll become royalty and have a great life."
"Yo mama is so fat, she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook"
"Have you guys heard about the Indian coat check? His name was Mahatma Coat."