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Joke of the Day

"I met a refugee on the train today. ""What country are you from?"", I asked. ""Iraq"", he replied. ""How did you escape?"" i ran."

"I consider myself somewhat of a pussy magnet... ...I just need to learn how to change the polarity."

"Twitter turns six today. It seems like just yesterday that I spoke to my family."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Apollo ! Apollo who ? Apollogize !"

"A man once became addicted to cocaine from foreign countries. He spent all his money to travel and sample the evil drug in all parts of the world. Thankfully, he stopped once he hit the Finnish line."

"In order to prepare for the future, I'm going to practice wearing adult diapers. But only when I'm drinking."

"How do you know if a wizards gay? It disappears with a poof."

"Hitler didn't like oranges. He hated the juice."

"My new year's resolution is to be more grammary and stop making up words."

"""You think I'm smart, right?"" Not tonight baby, I'm too tired to fight. Annnd that's how the fight started."