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Joke of the Day

"What's faster than light? Darkness, my old friend."

"What do you call a Romanian grocery clerk? Scanthesku"

"I told my girlfriend to roleplay as a a Lvl 100 Charizard while we were having sex. She scratched me and told me that I didn't have enough badges to train her."

"I have just invented a perfume made from holy water Eau my god"

"What's the difference between ignorance and indifference? I don't know and I don't care"

"I currently live in a college apartment with four other dudes... we go through toilet paper like Hitler went through the Jews"

"I imagine colonoscopies are accompanied by the theme music from the underground level of Super Mario Bros."

"If you see an Apple store getting robbed.... Does that make you an iWitness?"

"Why wasn't Jesus born in Detroit? Because God couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin."

"My dream girl? Dirty blond hair, strong arms, cold eyes, immaculately shaped facial hair, no remorse -Are you describing Chuck Norris? Yes"