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Joke of the Day

"If you see an Apple store getting robbed.... Does that make you an iWitness?"

"So I tried coprophilia for the first time today. It's fucking shit."

"Why is Jesus happy people hang pictures of him? It only takes one nail to put him on a wall."

"Just once in movies when someone gently shuts a dead person's eyes I want them to whisper ""Ew, ew, ew, ew."" while doing it."

"The doctor said I may have a strained abdominal muscle which is cool because that means I have an abdominal muscle."

"What did one dairy cow say to another? Got milk?"

"Mitt Romney's Presidency."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Its a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it."

"I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying."

"Michael Sam has stepped away from football. He will now pursue his sacks elsewhere."