195716

Joke of the Day

"If you see an Apple store getting robbed.... Does that make you an iWitness?"

"I swear to holy hell, Aunt Pat, I would rather lick a midget's taint than accept your invitation to play Lucky Slots."

"It was a stormy night at work And thunder struck at the same time that the telephone rang. The Hash Slinging Slasher (this is no joke)"

"My girlfriend likes to get f**ked in the ear Every time I try to stick my dick in her mouth she turns her head!"

"Why do Jihadist Muslims only drink instant coffee? 'Cause they hate the French press"

"My heart just skipped a beat when I glanced at my wife across the room. Mostly because she was holding my phone."

"On Gun Control Yesterday I Called The Fire Arms, Tobacco, Alcohol And Asked The Agent What Fully Automatic Weapon Goes With A Shot Of Burbon. Sean O' Talk Show Host SOS Computer Talk"

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre!"

"What did the left ass cheek say to the right ass cheek? Whose the asshole in the middle."

"Kid: Mommy's last name must be ""Honey"" cuz that's what daddy calls her Teacher: That's SWEET. What's her first name? Kid: ""Sorry,"" I think"