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Joke of the Day

"Serial killers are updating their check list now for dumping bodies: 1) will this location be discovered by Pokemon players? 2) do I care?"

"Why dogs are called K9? Because cats are K10"

"Kate Middleton's gynacologist is getting a Knighthood The amount of Royal cunts he's put up with he probably deserves it."

"""Can we stop for a second? I forgot everyone's names again."" - me, if I was a character on Game of Thrones"

"I bet in Somalia a kid has been like ""I'm so hungry!"" and another's like ""Third world problem!"" and they both laugh and die and stuff."

"What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable? ...the wheelchair"

"I always say ""I was wondering when you'd find me"" when I get in my car. That way if someone's ever in the backseat I'll look cool as shit."

"What was the fat asian rapper's name? Too chinz"

"When I come back in the next life, I would like to come back as a bathroom mirror in a house full of hot women."

"What kind of health insurance does a llama need? Ollamacare"