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Joke of the Day

"Why dogs are called K9? Because cats are K10"

"Patient: Oh doctor, I'm just so nervous. This is my first operation. Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too."

"What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree? A gorilla pooped on his face."

"How dare you accept my apology, I wasn't really apologizing, that was a trick to get you to say that nothing was my fault"

"Since it would take human contact to get Ebola. Everyone on Twitter is safe."

"Instead of being buried or cremated, I've arranged to be liquidized. I'm not going to a funeral if I can't get drunk."

"I tried being a barber for a while but I just couldn't cut it. Bonus joke: Had to buy a stepladder the other day, I never knew my real ladder."

"Making fun of someone's age is like mocking them for getting hit by a train because you're standing a little further down the tracks."

"The hardest thing about working in a restaurant is that your throat is always dry from spitting in everyone's food."

"Who called them accountants and not sumbodies?"