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Joke of the Day
"What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable? ...the wheelchair"
Next Joke
"eer booze and fun!' 'Sign seen in a bar: ""Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."""
"Shout out to bicyclists that yell ""on your left"" as they pass me so I know which arm to clothesline them with."
"Did you hear about the baker that died fighting to save his business? They say he went out ""buns-a-glazing"""
"Whenever I think of a funny status I always get a pen and write it down so I can use it later, and if the pen is too far away I just convince myself that it wasn't that funny anyway."
"At this point, the only reason I still get The New Yorker is to impress my mailman."
"What do people say when they hear about the assassin from Wales? Welsh-hitman!"
"TAYLOR SWIFT: I knew you were trouble when you walked in ME (wearing ski mask and holding up gun): what gave it away?"
"I used too much anti-aging cream and now I am a tiny baby."
"The hardest part about breaking up with your Japanese girlfriend... Is that you have to drop the bomb twice.."