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Joke of the Day

"A rabbi, a Priest, and a duck walk into a bar... and the bartender says ""What is this, a fucking joke?"""

"[office] DAVE: We're having a baby SUE: Congratulations! ME: [suspicious that Dave is a seahorse] Looking forward to the birth, Dave?"

"Objects on twitter may appear funnier than they are."

"Donut that is out of this world!!! What do you call a donut that is out of this world? -----Astronaut-----"

"Did you hear about the two silk worms that got in a fight? It ended in a tie."

"Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? If it had four it'd be a sedan."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The ""p"" is silent."

"Ever hear the one about the midget and the razor blade? Me either, it got cut short."

"Twilight drinking game rules: 1) drink 40 shots when you press play so you can die before the movie starts."

"What's the point in getting a Master's degree if you can't even own any slaves?"