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Joke of the Day
"I was recently employed as a sewage worker It's a shit job."
Next Joke
"How about a month filled with stress and obligation? - Pitch for December"
"*lights scented candle* *accidentally burns down house* *everyone agreed that it smelled amazing*"
"How do you know when you've played too much minecraft? When your friend wishes aloud that he could be creative and you tell him ,""your game mode has been changed."""
"ME: nice fanny pack u weirdo KANGAROO: *puts phone in pouch, pulls out a knife* ME: holy shit"
"Kids are the worst CIA agents. I KNOW WATERBOARDING SUCKS KATIE BUT YOU CAN'T TELL THE TALIBAN EVERYTHING FOR A CAPRI SUN YOU IDIOT"
"Why did your mom tip the delivery boy? She wanted a pizza dat ass."
"I was disappointed after I won the grand prize on the game show last night. It was for a year supply of calendars."
"My favorite part of the song is the beginning when the rapper goes ""Uh oh"" like both he and you are about to embark on an unexpected journey"
"Why did no one come to the ghost's party? [OC] The h was in charge of the invitations."