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Joke of the Day
"CUTE GIRL I LIKE: I'm gonna hang up ME TRYING TO FLIRT: No you hang up"
Next Joke
"When's the best time to see an optometrist? When you can't."
"What is Chewbaccas favorite celebrity? Wookie Goldberg"
"OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog."
"how many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Enough to protest until the government does it for them"
"What was Spiderman's major in college? Web Design"
"So I was talking to the devil, and I asked him about his job... He told me ""It's soul crushing and I love it."""
"Sometimes I wake up moody... The other times, i let her sleep."
"""Well, I guess I'll stagger around, speak gibberish, & touch all the shit I'm not supposed to while you get irritated."" Drunks & toddlers."
"4-year-old: What happens if I microwave 5 Barbies? Me: That's an oddly specific question. 4: I already know what happens if I do it with 4"