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Joke of the Day

"""Well, I guess I'll stagger around, speak gibberish, & touch all the shit I'm not supposed to while you get irritated."" Drunks & toddlers."

"The wife of my friend is not a woman to me. But if she's pretty he's not my friend."

"How do you organize a space party? You planet ;)"

"What starts with ""F"" and ends with ""UCK""? ""Firetruck"" ...What were you thinking? What starts with ""P"" and ends with ""ORN""? ""Popcorn"" ..What were you thinking?"

"(Q)..... What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster? (A)..... The rooster clucks defiance."

"I was watching a movie with my son earlier. Gripping my hand he said: ""Dad I'm scared, is that woman going to die?"". ""Judging by the size of that horse's cock, yes""."

"German sausages... are the wurst."

"When do cops blow up and destroy shopping centers and Walmarts? During Black Friday."

"I'm going to tweet with my left hand so it feels like someone else is tweeting about me."

"There are only 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don't."