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Joke of the Day

"Really not sure why people tell me to ""be honest"" then get all upset when I tell them their eyebrows need a divorce. *shrugs*"

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"[Writing Silence of the Lambs] Anyone have an idea for the cannibal's name? Jim: Hannibal? Anyone? Jim: Hannibal Anyone other than Jim?"
"I got 6 numbers at the bar last night... One more and it would have been a complete telephone number. (special thanks to Kevin Malone)"
"What Do You Call A Line Of Men Waiting For A Haircut? A Barbecue. Christmas crackers are just full of laughs."
"Just wrote ""58008"" on my calculator app and when I turned it upside-down, it auto-orientated back to the right way up. I hate the future."
"What is life like for a wood worm ? Boring !"
"If I have seizures brought on by soda... Do I have Pepsilepsy?"
"There is only one type of cake I don't like Stomach ache"
"I went down to the local Pub and I came home with this great joke told to me by a baby. Goo goo ga ga gah?"
"if you turn the patterns on their shirts 90 degrees... the trusted REFEREE becomes the despicable PRISONER.... truly life is a fragile Bitch"