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Joke of the Day

"Cop: What's the hurry? Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now."

"What do you call a Mexican Aunt? A tor-tia."

"Make mine a Sandusky. I think I'm going to make a signature drink after Jerry Sandusky - 10 year old Whiskey and tears"

"Hooking up with your ex is a great way to reassure yourself that dying alone wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."

"What do a short-sighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose."

"I like to write ""made you look"" on folded pieces of paper and place them under car windshield wipers in parking lots."

"I always cry at wedding ceremonies because I don't want to be there."

"What do you call a single Mexican man? No bae Jose"

"What does an Ethiopian eat for breakfast? sand."

"I'm meeting a man I really like for drinks. If I play my cards right, he'll be deleting my number in a few hours."