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Joke of the Day

"Tried using a time machine to go back to my wedding day & talk some sense into a much younger me, but I got the date wrong."

Next Joke
 
"I recently saw a Broadway production about the origin of language It was just a play on words"
"Michael Jackson was just so innocent and childlike... After a show he'd go home and just blow bubbles..."
"What do you call it when two guys open a weed dispensary? A joint venture."
"Saying ""unwanted houseguests"" is redundant. I just call them houseguests."
"Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic sex. Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life? Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years."
"[at hairstylist] Make me look like I'm running really fast."
"What did Saddam Hussein have in common with Little Miss Muffet? He also had Kurds in his way."
"Teacher: What do you think astronauts wear to keep warm? Girl: Apollo neck jumpers ?"
"What did the black kid with diarrhea say to his mom? Help! I'm melting!"