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Joke of the Day

"Why are Soviets so bad with the ladies? They're always Russian the fuckin' and Stalin the lovin' hehehe"

"Friend: All I want for Christmas is a new blender Me: Wouldn't you rather have your life together?"

"Although it may be true that I don't have a lot of friends, I do however have a significant amount of strangers that don't bother me."

"I keep making jokes about my dads new Thai bride. He's getting pretty sick of them. My dads getting sick of them too."

"My business portfolio is a cigarette butt inside an empty beer bottle."

"Saw that new ""Legend"" film at the weekend... It was Kray Kray...."

"my wife can find a stain on my shirt from across the room but can't see the mailbox when she's backing up?"

"An Atheist, a Vegan, and a Jehovah's Witness walk into a bar.. I know because they told everyone in less than a minute."

"How did the German dad scold his son for eating too much frozen dessert? QUIT Haagen-Dazs ICE CREAMS!"

"I'm working on a fitness routine for insects. It's going well, but I'm still trying to work out the bugs."