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Joke of the Day
"What did the man who ate a clock say? That was time consuming but I still want seconds."
Next Joke
"Look, if I offer you a bite of my calamari, you're bound to offer me a bite of your food. Legally, it's known as Squid Pro Quo."
"What's the difference between america and a bottle of milk? In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture"
"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef! Bonus joke: What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean Beef!! Double Bonus: What do you call a cow with one leg stuck in the ground? Steak!!!"
"My friend tried to kill herself by taking 20 advil. I was very upset by this and I asked her ""Why take 20 advil when you can just take 2 aleve?"
"If a tree falls in the woods and the wife's not there to witness it, it'll be my fault when i get home."
"Why does mowgli run away from Shere Khan? Islamophobia."
"What does a house wear? Address!"
"Make a Fire Q: How do you make a fire with two sticks? A: Make sure one is a match!"
"Actually saw two young people talking today. Parents must have grounded them from their phones."