84023
Joke of the Day
"Why are germans so bad at marathons? Because they cant finish a race."
Next Joke
"I just had a wicked threesome on the kitchen floor. Me, Nyquil and Vodka. I'll be walking funny tomorrow!"
"[maid of honor speech] Never thought this day would come! Remember when you came home early & he was wearing your bra & panties [mom faints]"
"wrong number every day i get 30 calls as wrong number what should i do ?? im fed up of wrong numberss``"
"A Jewish girl.. ..asks her father, ""Dad? Can I have 50 dollars?"" he says, ""40 dollars? What do you need 30 dollars for?"""
"Life without internet is like a house without a bathroom... What are you supposed to do? Go outside n' shit?"
"Personally, I don't think it would feel good to be walking on sunshine. The sun is a fucking hot ball of gas."
"What do you call 2000 mockingbirds? 2 kilo mockingbirds"
"If God was a woman. Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why."
"[Me and a friend have movie night, order pizza and do some acid] Me: ""Hell yeah"" Friend: ""Hell yeah"" Pizza: ""Oh hell yeah"""