118644

Joke of the Day

"Look, if I offer you a bite of my calamari, you're bound to offer me a bite of your food. Legally, it's known as Squid Pro Quo."

"I want to be a server at a restaurant that serves fish jelly, just so when people order it, I can say ""I don't think you're ready."""

"What do you call a gang of Country musicians jamming the shit out of some good ol' music? A twang-bang"

"Knock Knock Who's there? Two Two Who? To Whom!"

"What's the difference between the Earth and my sock? The Earth's crust is on the outside."

"A horse walks into a bar... and the bartender says, ""Hey look everybody! Sarah Jessica Parker is in the house!"""

"I bought shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day"

"What did all the boys from the hood call the Pillsbury Dough boy after he got super baked? Cracker."

"Some bitch just called me a crack whore... Stupid dogs, ass is the only way to go ;)"

"""Haha totally man"" - me, after failing to understand someone for a third time."