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Joke of the Day

"The only thing I learned in college is that I'm stupid."

"Profanity is the crutch of the inarticulate motherfucker."

"17 blondes decide to go to cinema... But when they arrive they don't enter the cinema because it says you have to be 18 to get in."

"I went to an erectile dysfunction meeting today. Nobody else came."

"After placing me in charge of training new employees I can't help but question my companies' commitment to success."

"Well no wonder we haven't cured cancer yet. Our standard for the ""best medicine"" is laughter."

"Updating your relationship status in public is fine. Updating your relationship problems in public is stupidity."

"I'm going to need to see a warrant before you look through any pictures on my phone besides the one I show you."

"Do you know what the President said to Michelle when he proposed? I don't wanna be Obama self. P.S. I know, it was super cheesy."

"My cat and I made a best friend pact tonight. If I die first, he won't eat my body. Or if he dies first, I won't use his skull as a cup."