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Joke of the Day

"Did you know there's a type of spider that eats snails and uses the shell as armor to attack birds? That's not true. I'm sorry."

"Shhh don't talk, I'm imagining you smart."

"What did one fish say to another fish after Eve had her first bath? Great, now we smell like woman."

"Stood in very long line today at the DMV behind James Bond renewing his license to kill... shouldn't they have a separate line for that?"

"Going to McDonalds for a salad roll is like going to a brothel for a hug."

"What's between an old woman's breasts that's not between a young woman's breasts? a navel.."

"Why is it called Big Bang? Baby universe was born."

"How was copper wire invented? Two jews fighting over a penny."

"Hi Operator, Can you connect me to Steph Curry? Operator: Just dial 739 Guy: I did but there's no Ring"

"How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster ? Terrier-fied !"