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Joke of the Day

"My wife likes to talk after sex She calls me from the motel"

"Men are like copiers. You need them for reproduction but that's about it."

"When you grow up it's like, ok now you can go to bed whenever you want & all you have to trade for it is the ability to ever feel joy again"

"How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank the coffee before it was cool."

"Why didn't Hellen Keller learn to lip-read? The braille left her lips numb."

"The fact that Mitt Romney opted to see Twilight instead of Lincoln this weekend probably sums up what his presidency would've been like."

"Colo, the world's oldest gorilla died today... I guess her heart couldn't handle seeing a baboon about to be in office."

"""God is good all the time!"" Yeah. Not you though, Russ. You sucked for 55 frigging minutes."

"I avoid checking my bank account. I just don't need that negativity in my life."

"What is a chemists favourite type of music? Heavy Metals."