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Joke of the Day
"""God is good all the time!"" Yeah. Not you though, Russ. You sucked for 55 frigging minutes."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Porsche? Porcupines have pricks on the outside"
"My successful pancake business was recently shut down Someone tipped off the police that I was selling them hot"
"What's the difference between a golfball and a woman's 'G' spot? A man will actually spend 20 minutes looking for a golfball... Alternative punchline: Man can actually hit a golfball..."
"That awkward moment: You're watching a movie with your Dad when a sex scene comes on. And then your dad starts stroking your balls. Am I right??"
"The doctor told me to lose some weight. I said, ""How?"" He said ""Don't eat anything fatty."" I said, ""You mean pies, chips, that sort of thing?"" He said, ""No, just don't eat anything, fatty."""
"If Steve Rogers was a drink, what drink would he be? An Iced Cap"
"Whats a printer's favorite sandwich? A paper jam sandwhich"
"As we stripped off jumping into the bed I said to my boyfriend, ""Can you give me a minute?"" ""Why? Want to freshen up?"" He asked. ""No,"" I replied. ""Its just that last time you only gave me 30 seconds."""
"Where do holy men sleep? Monk beds."