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Joke of the Day

"I avoid checking my bank account. I just don't need that negativity in my life."

"My wife said she would leave me if I didn't stop using Monkee's song references. I thought she was joking. Then I saw her face..."

"I want to make a puzzle that says ""Get a job"" after its completed."

"I like my women like I like my golf scores, in the 80's with a slight handicap."

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can't sleep with a light on"

"I'm offended that horses don't put their hooves over their hearts during the National Anthem when they win a gold in equestrian events."

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves Free You racist fuck"

"As a kid, I was always scared of the dentist. He was a pedophile. You wouldn't believe the fillings he gave me."

"A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it."

"Why did Kelly Clarkson cross the road? Because of you."