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Joke of the Day

"They gave me some cake but it was way too basic and burned my mouth. Turns out the cake was a lye. ^^^^^^sorry"

"There's a new drinking game... You draw a random card from a deck & if it's black you take a shot.... We call it ""Ferguson"""

"May I pay you handsomely, good sir? -Why yes you may. *opens wallet* *pulls out Ryan Gosling*"

"It's Christmas and I'm alone (again), Reddit. Tell me something funny Well, I have my dog at least. Fire some shit away!"

"What's Italian Alzheimer's sound like? ""Whoa! fuggodaboutit!"""

"They say that all things come in threes and yeah maybe I did too once because I was really drunk and she looked like a five."

"How can you tell when a man pumping gas is a male porn star? Right before the gas stops pumping, he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car."

"Why does everyone hate German sausage jokes? Because they're the wurst."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You thought it would be 'R' but all pirates love the 'C'."

"How to pick up a girl Me: Are you interested in having the best sex of your life? Her: No. Me: Well then you came to the right place ;)"