200925
Joke of the Day
"What's Italian Alzheimer's sound like? ""Whoa! fuggodaboutit!"""
Next Joke
"The first woman on the moon. ""Houston we have a problem."" What? ""nevermind"" What's the problem?? ""nothing"" Please tell us!? ""You know what the problem is."""
"When life hands you 2 Lemons 1 cup sugar 2 tbsp flour 3 tbsp cornstarch 1 cup water 2 tbsp butter 4 eggs 1 pie crust you make lemon meringue"
"Why did the couch give the table a dollar? Because it was for chair-ity"
"I worry my life exists only so an angel can show the successful me from an alternate universe a vision of how much worse it could have been."
"Your sex life It doesn't exist"
"What did the lesbian mushroom say to the other lesbian mushroom during oral sex? Umami."
"Got CPR and CCR confused. Ended up playing ""Fortunate Son"" on my boombox while watching a man die."
"What do Hitler and Boston have in common? Neither can finish a race."
"Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl.... not on my watch."