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Joke of the Day
"I thought the fire alarm went off so I exited the building. It was a premature evacuation.."
Next Joke
"I slept like a baby last night I shat my pants and woke up every two hours"
"My autopsy is going to be surprising as hell because I am 100% filled with mashed potatoes"
"What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns? I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)"
"A sign on the Golden Gate Bridge reads: ""Now entering San Francisco, chains required... ...whips optional"""
"Two space shuttle crews watched Felix Baumgartner and thought: ""WE COULD HAVE HAD PARACHUTES?"""
"Two whales are sitting at a bar. One of them suddenly says: ""Mmmwaaaaaaaooooomm!"" The second whale looks over and and says: ""Dude, you're really drunk."""
"Grandma didn't do 69 I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, ""No, but I have done 53, that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""
"I had surgery to change myself from Asian to Caucasian. It was a real eye opening experience"
"Guys, I have to stop cyber-bullying North Korea. They called my mom."