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Joke of the Day

"What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns? I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)"

"What do you call a Scotsman that's been strangled to death by his own clothing? Kilt."

"What do they do when the Queen has a baby? Fire a 21 gun salute. What do they do when a nun has a baby? Fire the dirty old Canon."

"I wish I was 7'9"" so my BMI would be normal"

"I promise you that there are three types of people in this world. Those who keep their promises, and those who don't."

"Why are pedophiles safe drivers? They always slow down in front of kindergartens and schools!"

"Star Wars 7 is when they all realize that they are just Andy's toys."

"What did cinderella say when she got to the ball? NSFW *gagging noise*"

"Wife: OMG the baby just swallowed some Scrabble tiles! Me: Which ones? Wife: BLTOUR & E Me: Well, that could spell trouble"

"Ghost cat: how'd you die? Ghost dog: i bit a guy that ran over my best pal and they put me down GC: i got hit by a car GD: I know GC: ilu"