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Joke of the Day

"I had surgery to change myself from Asian to Caucasian. It was a real eye opening experience"

"Nobody thinks my march madness bracket will win I just can't see why people would dismiss a team that beat professional organizations last year. I say Golden State all the way."

"If I got $1 every time a woman said I was't her type, I'd be her type."

"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? Someone who's up all night wondering if there is a dog."

"Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!"

"I know this is only our second date, Susan, and maybe I'm moving too fast, but I'd like permission to rename your cat."

"I went to the club last night... They played The Twist, so I did the twist. They played Jump, so I jumped. They played Come On Eilien... and I got kicked out."

"What did the plant say to the runaway melons in love? You cantelope!"

"She blinded me with science. Fine, it was mace, but she sprayed it very scientifically."

"What's Cain's favorite genre of music? Rock, I hear his brother hates it though."