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Joke of the Day

"The label of this bag of roasted peanuts includes a warning that they come from a plant that processes peanuts"

"A Guy Walks Into A Bar........ Wait For It........ ""Ouch"""

"What is the preferred drink for people in St. Cloud? Mini Soda"

"What's an Alzheimer patient's favorite horror movie? The Blair...Which project? [Made my roomie laugh at least]"

"What did the Frenchman say when he saw a dirty toilet? Eau de Toilette! (eww, the toilet)"

"What do you call it when an employee poops in the food at a Chinese restaurant? Shitty wok"

"The female praying mantis devours the male within minutes after mating, while the female human prefers to stretch it out over a lifetime."

"Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit's new baby? She thought babies should be pink so she took this one to the doctor because it was a horrible yeller."

"Lots of nouns have particular GROUP names. A MOB of kangaroos, a HERD of cattle, a TEAM of footballers. What is the name for a group of Bankers? A WUNCH."

"Why does the internet always mourn the death of politicians? Because they are always lion about everything."