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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit's new baby? She thought babies should be pink so she took this one to the doctor because it was a horrible yeller."

Next Joke
 
"Anyone else notice Independence Day is July 4th? Maybe we can work it into our 4th of July celebrations."
"What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White? Shaking Bad."
"If I had a dollar for every time one of my kids said ""Mom, you're not funny"", I could buy a beach house. And live by myself."
"You know it's time to quit smoking when you laugh at a tweet and you sound like Muttley."
"""No pressure, but my happiness is totally dependent on you."" - soulmates"
"Our father who art in heaven what does that mean like painting or something"
"A priest and a rabbi are standing on a corner when a 5 year old boy walks by. The priest says, ""Hey. Let's fuck that boy"". Replied the rabbi, ""out of what?""."
"Why does Waldo always wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted."
"Rules to live by: 1. Be kind to strangers 2. Don't cheat on your taxes 3. Everything in moderation 4. Bury the body at sea"