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Joke of the Day
"I laughed at my friend for being unable to juggle... Turns he just didn't have the balls to do it."
Next Joke
"If you Say the word ""murder"" over and over again out loud, it starts to sound really weird and everyone in this starbucks will stare at you."
"What do you call a musician Trump supporter? A Trump-et"
"Cop: i told you this land is off limits Me: oh i thought you said it was all flimits Cop: wtf are flimits Me: idk let's go look Cop: ok"
"Cookie. I would give you a cookie, but I took a byte out of it."
"uh oh we better all stand up for the old man in the dress who bangs a tiny hammer down or he might decide that we have to live in a cage"
"A penis and a condom walk into a bar and spend the whole night drinking, Come closing the penis tries to stiff the bartender... But his friend had him covered."
"Frankenstein: Help I've got a short circuit! Igor: Don't worry I'll lengthen it."
"It's gonna be a sad day when Twitter finds a way to delete spam accounts and we realize there are only twelve of us on here."
"85% of conversations with my mom is trying to figure out who the ""she"" in her story is."