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Joke of the Day

"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE THOR - ""here"" HULK - ""here"" IRON MAN - ""here"" CAPT. AMERICA - ""here"" USELESS ARROW GUY - ... I SAID- HAWKEYE- I HEARD YOU"

"[at a bar] CUTE GIRL: *grabs my arm* hey there ME: *mouth full of food* did you know a lobster on a kabob is called a kablobster"

"Why did Miss Piggy call in sick to work? Because she had a frog in her throat."

"What do you call the rough parts of Paris? La Ba-ghetto"

"Is there any upside to living in Switzerland?? The flag is a big plus."

"A reporter asked Lil Wayne how sure was he that he contracted HIV. He said 100% positive"

"My daughter demanded she be treated like a princess... so I married her off to secure an alliance with the French."

"What do you call the people that Trump didn't pick to be in his cabinet? Qualified."

"My therapist told me that if ignorance is bliss, there's no reason for me to be on antidepressants."

"You did yoga. You didn't negotiate a peace treaty. Stop walking around like that."