138470

Joke of the Day

"I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control... I thought to myself Well, this changes everything"

"ME: I fell off a 50 ft tall ladder once GIRL: holy cow how did you survive ME: I fell off the bottom rung"

"I'm always frank with my sexual partners I don't really want them knowing my real name."

"Why do buddhist make bad vacuum salesman? They can't deal with attachments."

"The last time someone listened to a Bush, a bunch of people wandered in the desert for 40 years!"

"I keep forgetting which Disney princess is it who solves all her own problems without trying to find a boyfriend?"

"What do they tell Soviet children who want to achieve their dreams? Shoot for the Tsars."

"I know this is a long shot, but any super-attractive men and women out there also self-confessed ""nerds?"""

"What do birds order when they go to Starbucks? Flappaccinos."

"A joke my physics teacher told us Student: ""Did you get a haircut?"" Teacher: ""No I got them all cut."""