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Joke of the Day

"I know this is a long shot, but any super-attractive men and women out there also self-confessed ""nerds?"""

"Dog shampoo was on sale & cheaper than my normal shampoo so it looks like I'm going to have a shiny, healthy coat for the next few weeks."

"If Eminem were a feminist... ...he would be called Feminem."

"Way down on the bottom of the twitter user licensing agreement in tiny font it says ""Say goodbye to your family"""

"I'm very pleased with my new fridge magnet. So far I've got twelve fridges."

"Facebook is the biggest whistle-blower of them all, telling people I saw their messages."

"Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago."

"Judge: how do you plead? Guy: well usually to my wife Judge: haha I feel ya brother, bailiff please fist-bump the defendant"

"What do you call an Islamic mosquito? A 'mosque-ito'."

"If I were Obama, I'd totally lead with ""My fellow Americans, the situation looks popeless."" #SOTU"