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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day? SINGLE."

"Jehovah's Witness don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their door"

"What do you call a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle with bad hair? Donny Trump"

"Linkin Park My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday...she said she couldn't stand my Linkin Park references anymore, but I guess in the end...it doesn't even matter."

"Fruit By The Foot, but no Meat By The Meter? I call bullshit."

"I'm not sure if this woman in the Starbucks line ahead of me is ordering a drink or casting a spell."

"So my friend came to me for help with his problems, but I really had to go to the bathroom... I left telling him I had shit to do, but really I had a shit to take and no shit to give."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter he's not coming anyways."

"Doctor: We need to double your meds Me: Will I still be able to knit little capes for my hamster? Doctor: We need to triple your meds"

"What do you call a bus filled with white people? A twinkie."