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Joke of the Day

"Fruit By The Foot, but no Meat By The Meter? I call bullshit."

"What is a black's favorite letter? The one with the welfare check in it."

"[dog park] Dog: omg I just found out I'm adopted Other Dogs: [barking in shock]"

"I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it. Apparently she left me yesterday."

"Who is the funniest tennis player? Djokovic"

"Everyone enjoys blonde jokes. Except blondes, they don't get it."

"Why is it a bad idea to wear tiny shorts on a Ukranian holiday? Chernobyl fallout."

"And the award for best neckwear goes to... ...well would you look at that, it's a tie."

"Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work."

"I'm never wrong! One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken!"