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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter he's not coming anyways."

"Apparently sleeping your way to the top doesn't mean dozing off in meetings or taking naps in the copier room."

"I went to a prostitute but she charged way too much and only gave me a handjob I guess you could say I didn't get a good bang for my buck."

"A cleaning service of men who think a hot girl is coming over in 20 minutes."

"What's worse than having ants in your pants? Uncles"

"Donald Trump says he'll be more presidential from now on No Juan believes that!"

"I never knew my son was 80 years old until he told me to text our neighbor because ""his leaves are getting on our lawn."""

"Why do we feel like whistleblowers right now? Because we're Snowedin."

"Leia: You owe child support. Han: What? I'm in hyperspace. Leia: You're standing right here Han: *makes hyperdrive noises with his mouth*"

"How did the roman cannibal feel about his victim? He was glad he ate her."