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Joke of the Day
"Why did the AC wave try to hang himself? He was sinusoidal."
Next Joke
"4 yo: Mommy, it feels so good. Me: What does? 4 yo: To be a gangster. Me: ... Go tell your father I said to come here."
"When you say, ""save me some nachos"" and I say, ""okay"" think Rose at the end of Titanic saying ""I'll never let go""..as she lets go."
"GOT knock knock Knock knock? Who's there? No one. No one, who? Jk it's Arya Stark. I'm out, Jaqen H'ghar."
"What do you get when you cross a zebra with a flamingo? Some weeeeeeeird shit, man."
"Church A very enthusiastic book club."
"""WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE MY IPHONE"" - new thing I scream at my kids"
"What do you call 9 idiots who laugh at repetitive joke? 9gag"
"I taught myself to stop using filler words like ""um"" [weather channel in the background] ""Chance of rain today is 40%"" Better grab my brella"
"How to mess with people To REALLY mess with people, try drinking Gatorade from a Windex bottle."