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Joke of the Day

"I've always wondered what it was like to have a stalker... So I guess I'll ask the guy hiding in my closet."

"What if we had an internet and nobody came?"

"[At job interview] Manager: So, do you have any questions about the job? Me: Yeah, can I have it?"

"What did the dominatrix say after she spanked the wrong slave? Whoops, wrong sub"

"A Cobra wanted to fight me but I challenged him to a thumb war and he slitthered away embarrassed."

"What runs all day but never gets tired? Water."

"If at first you don't succeed . . . don't try skydiving."

"my daughter is 3. her joke about spiders: Spiders make Websites. she's not wrong."

"You have 2 coins that make 30 cents, one is not a nickle... One is a Quarter and the other is a nickle. I'll see myself out..."

"I was recently asked if I'd judge Mr. gay UK. I said ''It wouId be my pIeasure. It's against nature, against God, and he's going to heII.'' - Jimmy Carr"