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Joke of the Day

"[At job interview] Manager: So, do you have any questions about the job? Me: Yeah, can I have it?"

"Me: Weaknesses? Oh, I'd say not relating well to other sentient beings. -I meant about the janitor job. Me: Oh ya, I don't know how to sweep"

"fyi, drug mule does not mean youll be getting stoned and riding around on a donkey... worst first day ever"

"Why did the two chickens cross the road? To avoid debating Bernie Sanders"

"I've been in chemistry lectures all day... I'm absolutely Bohred to death!"

"My 11 y/o brother told me this What is pickle bread before its baked? Dill dough"

"Examine the shadows around my eyes. They speak of loss, of longing, of doom. Also, I buy mascara at the dollar store."

"What's BROWN and making California a miserable place to live? California Governor Jerry BROWN you racist asshole!"

"Exit signs are all the rage these days But I think they're on the way out"

"Why are black people unable to get a Ph.D.? Because they can't get past their Masters."