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Joke of the Day

"Why don't boobies make apple juice? BECAUSE GIRLS ONLY HAVE A ""PEAR"" AHAHEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE"

"ME: I want the car's brake lines to rust SCIENTIST: I'm listening ME: [slides over envelope full of cash] But make it look like an oxidant"

"This is Bill Bill has a wife Bill isn't scared of his wife & says what he wants when he.. This is Bill's wife Bill is no longer available"

"EA just announced this amazing FIFA 16 feature - player is now able to run from the FBI"

"Being a ""Hopeless Romantic"" sounds kinda depressing. ""Pull my chair out for me?"" .. ""I'd love to, but I've given up."""

"Genders are like political parties... There are many, but only 2 actually matter."

"Did you know there are bees that produce milk? Yeah, they are called boo bees."

"My anchor tattoo is so realistic I can't get out of the bathtub."

"My wife likes to talk to me after sex... It's great, I've got a special ringtone set up and everything."

"Oh, you hate your job? There's a support group for that. It's called ""Everybody"", and we meet at the bar."