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Joke of the Day
"I finally got a housekeeper. it's my ex-wife. She kept the house."
Next Joke
"Your mom is so fat... The last time she had sex, they called it the Big Bang!"
"Professional women's soccer is so boring. Why am I even jerking off to this?"
"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but you have to wonder how they got in there."
"Time I spend listening to music 54 seconds. Time I spend untangling headphones 17 minutes"
"Tell her you already got her gift, & ask her to try & guess. Then go buy something she guessed. Shopping made easy."
"What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung"
"I just thought of the most badass hobbit name: Oak Smashfoot. Oh god, I'm so tired."
"Who could it be? there's a big idiot between the ""I"" and the ""Y"" on the keyboard. Why don't you go and see who it is?"
"LPT: When weightlifting, always have a friend videotape it. Because the camera always adds 10 pounds."