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Joke of the Day

"Professional women's soccer is so boring. Why am I even jerking off to this?"

"Have you heard about Samsung's new video game based on the Galaxy Note 7? They're calling it Mass Defect."

"At what age is it acceptable to tell a highway it's adopted?"

"My great grandma started to giggle at a barbecue and when I asked what's funny she said "" everyone here is alive because I got laid ""."

"Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathizers."

"How can you tell who the head doctor is? They're the one with the dirtiest knees"

"<enter password> ikilledaman <password must contain a number> *7 hours later* ikilled2men"

"why can't you fool aborted fetuses? because they weren't born yesterday."

"A sentence and a phrase is arguing, what did the sentence say? I know where you're coming from this phrase, but I can't see your point."

"I just pimped my car. Now it has extra whorespower."