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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the genius Redditor? No?, and you won't either."

"What's the best way to keep water from running? Don't pay the water bill."

"I hope I get a watch for Christmas! Because there's no present like the time."

"Buddha is not a god But he sure looks like he ate one"

"A chicken and an egg are lying in bed The egg is smoking a cigarette. The chicken turns to the egg and says, well I guess that answers that question."

"What does it sound like when a Pterodactyl urinates? There is no sound... The P is silent."

"I don't usually spank the kids while we're in Walmart but yours were just asking for it."

"my dishwasher stopped working.. i heard sometimes you just have to give em a good kick, and they'll start right up again so i tried that, then she dumped me"

"What's the difference between abortion and terrorism? Terrorism is funded by the US government!"

"So a baby seal walks into a club. The end."