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Joke of the Day

"Buddha is not a god But he sure looks like he ate one"

"I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote ""dentists are liars"" into my phone. Not really sure what the plan is with that."

"[NSFW] I met a girl called Michelle at a bar... Her: Hi, I am Michelle Me: I am Donaldson, but people sometimes call me Dick. Her: How do you get Dick from Donaldson? Me: You ask nicely."

"Where does a pirate keep his buccaneer' s? Under his buccan-hat."

"What did Donald Duck become after losing his tv show? a quack dealer."

"My new thesaurus is terrible in fact I'd go as far to say that it's terrible"

"Have you heard Neil Diamonds new Christmas song? I can't recall the lyrics but I remember it had a sweet carol line"

"What's the difference between Tim cook and a dead body? Tim cook gets to come out of the closet."

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my basement."

"A bit cheesy but here goes: There once was a man who used to collect spices from all over the world... now he just doesn't have the thyme."