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Joke of the Day

"My joke originality is like my girlfriend I don't have any"

"My daughter asked me what it was like when I was a kid, so I took away all her electronics and made her play with a Rubik's cube."

"My exes dying words were, ""you're obviously in one of your moods"""

"What's the word that starts with an ""N"" that no one wants to call a black person? Neighbor."

"Mike Pence said that his Vice Presidential role model is Vice President Cheney. Huh. Who would've thought that after making so much LGBT discriminatory legislation that Pence loved Dick?"

"I'm sorry son, but autocorrect keeps changing your name to Marty. That's your new name now, there's nothing we can do about it."

"I accidentally earned a 3rd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do the last time a bee flew near my face."

"How do you prove human beings are inherently curious?"

"Yar, I wound up a toy car and put it down me pants. It's driving me nuts."

"I just got scammed by a hacker from Cairo... I guess you could say I've been E-gipped."