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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally earned a 3rd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do the last time a bee flew near my face."

"People that have their kids on a leash get very defensive when you pet them."

"I cooked for my fiancee's parents for the first time As I handed out the rarely cooked steak Harry (her father) said, ""I like it well done."" I said, ""Thanks, that means a lot."""

"How many animals are in a pair of pantyhose? Well there is 10 little piggies, 2 calves, an ass, a pussy and a dead fish, no one can find."

"I have a double major in Psychology and Geography. I lead the field in research on glacial depressions."

"My teenage daughter is very odd She literally can't even."

"I stopped living paycheck to paycheck... ...now I live direct deposit to direct deposit."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer!"

"Next year is going to be directed by Hideaki Anno... It'll be 2015+1"

"If a cop beats a pregnant woman till the fetus dies, is it a miscarriage of justice?"