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Joke of the Day

"A buzzard carrying two dead badgers tried to check in at the airport for his flight. The gate attendant told him, ""Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one carrion."""

"Love how dog food commercials advertise tastier formulas like that matters when deciding what to buy & feed a pet who eats its own vomit."

"What does a hippy say when you tell him to get off your couch? Namaste"

"What is the difference between a refrigerator and a gay man? A refrigerator doesn't fart when you take your meat out of it."

"DATING IN THE 1800s 1) Get telegram from Mae 2) Wait to respond. Don't be desperate 3) Get telegram that Mae died of dysentery while waiting"

"Whenever I experience happiness, I signal this to other humans by showing the sharpest part of my skeleton."

"""It's pronounced Jeff"" ""Whatever you say, Goff"""

"Women love to cook Because they get to continuously change something until it's exactly what they want"

"Little could our great-grandparents have imagined how many dicks and tits we'd all see in our lifetimes."

"A sodium atom undergoes a vigorous reaction with flourine... How do you feel?"" Asks the fluoride ion. ""Positively shell shocked"" the sodium ion replied."