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Joke of the Day

"Love how dog food commercials advertise tastier formulas like that matters when deciding what to buy & feed a pet who eats its own vomit."

"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body cut off? He was all right. Andddd I'll see myself out."

"My computer crashed a few hours into writing my paper looks like I'm gonna have to write my name and the date again"

"I want an ocean of orange soda It's a Fanta sea of mine"

"What do a chick and KFC have in common? Once you're done enjoying the legs, thighs and breasts your left with a greasy box to stick your bone in."

"God is pretty creative. I mean, look at me."

"A beautiful woman approaches a man in a bar... A beautiful woman approaches a man in a bar and says, ""hey, big boy. You single?"" He says, ""yeah! How'd you know?"" ""You're fucking ugly, for starters."""

"It's like my Mom always said FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW:"

"What's the difference between Andrew Dice Clay and a nintendo cartridge? The nintendo cartridge has steadily gotten more blowjobs since the 80s."

"My dog loves sniffing piles of poop He gets so shitfaced from it."